I thought I would write one last post to bid goodbye to 2009! While we had three family members in ER the good news is that they are all doing well now and I am ready to join some friends in Ft.Lauderdale to usher in 2010! Couldn't have a better ending to 2010 I guess...
cya next year!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Once upon a time.....
...and did they ever live happily thereafter?
Marriage - is it really meant for suffering? Being the first one to get married among my group of friends plus at a tender age, I have never fallen prey to the habit of nagging my friends to graduate from their single status, but what pushed me to write about this is the myriad of misconceptions that people live with, about marriages, and even more dangerous is that they enter a relationship with this overhead. A majority of people believe that marriages are best postponed since life becomes so monotonous and boring. Does that mean that they have assumed that the person with whom they are going to spend the rest of their life will bring no good to their life? or that the romance will outlast?
May be I am over-optimistic.Being single is great, but so is being married. I don't say this to justify my non-single status but with a hope to break the misbelief that marriages are just one additional set of boring responsibilities that you have to drag along with you. While it is not a bed of roses, it certainly is what you make out of it. If it is boring - it is that way because that is how YOU made it. If it is fulfilling - again, that will be due to what you have put in. Boring or nurturing, it is all in the hands of two people who share the relationship. It is a classic example of self fulfilling prophecy. You expect it to lack goodness, and because of your attitude, it most certainly will.
I don't ask girls to get married at 22 and leave everything behind, because marriage is a lot of adjustment and each relationship narrates a different story. However, in this age, when mom-in-laws are so unconditionally supportive, father-in-laws are sweet enough to help you around the kitchen when you come back home tired and husbands who try to be supportive in all the areas, how justifiable is it to label marriage as 'cumbersome' or claim that the goodness is outweighed? If nurtured properly, marriages gives an individual more than he or she gives in. Heavy ROIs!
I agree that attraction goes downwards as you progress in marriage, but what some of us fail to realize is that the as attraction wears off, trust and security kick in. and perhaps it doesn't really wear off, it decreases for time being until you find out that newly discovered quality about your partner that you never thought he/she had.
hmn...so what am I really trying to say here? I guess not much, just wanted to spill out all the thoughts that were triggered and perhaps tell you not to be blinded with other's opinions but do as your heart says? May be..
About the writer: The author is married to a chatter-box. She has survived her husband's poor jokes marathon. She meditates and drinks long-islands to stay sane. She lives on pg 10 of her fairytale book.
Marriage - is it really meant for suffering? Being the first one to get married among my group of friends plus at a tender age, I have never fallen prey to the habit of nagging my friends to graduate from their single status, but what pushed me to write about this is the myriad of misconceptions that people live with, about marriages, and even more dangerous is that they enter a relationship with this overhead. A majority of people believe that marriages are best postponed since life becomes so monotonous and boring. Does that mean that they have assumed that the person with whom they are going to spend the rest of their life will bring no good to their life? or that the romance will outlast?
May be I am over-optimistic.Being single is great, but so is being married. I don't say this to justify my non-single status but with a hope to break the misbelief that marriages are just one additional set of boring responsibilities that you have to drag along with you. While it is not a bed of roses, it certainly is what you make out of it. If it is boring - it is that way because that is how YOU made it. If it is fulfilling - again, that will be due to what you have put in. Boring or nurturing, it is all in the hands of two people who share the relationship. It is a classic example of self fulfilling prophecy. You expect it to lack goodness, and because of your attitude, it most certainly will.
I don't ask girls to get married at 22 and leave everything behind, because marriage is a lot of adjustment and each relationship narrates a different story. However, in this age, when mom-in-laws are so unconditionally supportive, father-in-laws are sweet enough to help you around the kitchen when you come back home tired and husbands who try to be supportive in all the areas, how justifiable is it to label marriage as 'cumbersome' or claim that the goodness is outweighed? If nurtured properly, marriages gives an individual more than he or she gives in. Heavy ROIs!
I agree that attraction goes downwards as you progress in marriage, but what some of us fail to realize is that the as attraction wears off, trust and security kick in. and perhaps it doesn't really wear off, it decreases for time being until you find out that newly discovered quality about your partner that you never thought he/she had.
hmn...so what am I really trying to say here? I guess not much, just wanted to spill out all the thoughts that were triggered and perhaps tell you not to be blinded with other's opinions but do as your heart says? May be..
About the writer: The author is married to a chatter-box. She has survived her husband's poor jokes marathon. She meditates and drinks long-islands to stay sane. She lives on pg 10 of her fairytale book.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Baby you are all that I want
..but not now.. I didn't know that one's wedding anniversary is the official counter for getting pregnant. Apparently, most of the people that called to wish were like "Happy Anniversary!! So when are you giving us 'the' good news?" .... hmmn..First of all people, there are a lot of types of good news and what might be good news to me might not be good for you! Another disguise of this request is " Oh, we want a little toy" hmm okay, alright. Let me take you to Toys r us, I'll pay and you can get as many toys as you want. But stop asking me this question!
I can completely understand why my neighbors back in my home country, sitting thousands of miles away from me and whom I have met only a couple of times and that too for a few hours want me to have a baby, and how they don't want to miss a single opportunity to remind me of my biological clock ticking away but whats out of the world amazing, is when a friend just a few years older than me calls me and gives me free advise to have a baby and after patiently listening to the repeat telecast, when I ask them 'so when are you having one?' they get shocked and say "oh who me?? I am not planning it for another 10 years" .So then why me for christ's sake! Seriously people, get a life. and if you don't have one then get yourself a baby. Stop bothering me!
I look forward to motherhood and not only will I cherish every moment when I enter it, but it is also something very precious and personal to me. I love you all my well intentioned ladies but for now the stork is not going to stop at my doorstep any time soon.....
- Poor Baby
I can completely understand why my neighbors back in my home country, sitting thousands of miles away from me and whom I have met only a couple of times and that too for a few hours want me to have a baby, and how they don't want to miss a single opportunity to remind me of my biological clock ticking away but whats out of the world amazing, is when a friend just a few years older than me calls me and gives me free advise to have a baby and after patiently listening to the repeat telecast, when I ask them 'so when are you having one?' they get shocked and say "oh who me?? I am not planning it for another 10 years" .So then why me for christ's sake! Seriously people, get a life. and if you don't have one then get yourself a baby. Stop bothering me!
I look forward to motherhood and not only will I cherish every moment when I enter it, but it is also something very precious and personal to me. I love you all my well intentioned ladies but for now the stork is not going to stop at my doorstep any time soon.....
- Poor Baby
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Happy Halloween!
..well a belated one. You know you have had a good time being scared when your throat hurts from all the screaming. We spent this Halloween at Universal Orlando - adrenaline levels constant high. I hesitantly stepped into my first haunted house and the next second I was beating myself up as to why I entered such a creepy place! While passing through the house, trying not to faint, I actually begged one of the ghosts 'Please let me go!!!'.LOL. As my husband says, my strategy was to wait 20 mins in the line to get in the house, and once I was in, I would sprint from start to finish. :) After the first one, the rest of them were much more fun, I actually slowed down a bit while going through the houses waiting for the scareactors.
The real scare was in the afternoon before we left for the park, when my rolling pin caught fire in my oven. It was inconspicuously stuck on the top coil (yeah, don't ask me how it got there!) and when I started broiling the dish, my treat in there got tricked. Well not so bad....photos will follow soon!
Meanwhile, I hope to have a great November!
The real scare was in the afternoon before we left for the park, when my rolling pin caught fire in my oven. It was inconspicuously stuck on the top coil (yeah, don't ask me how it got there!) and when I started broiling the dish, my treat in there got tricked. Well not so bad....photos will follow soon!
Meanwhile, I hope to have a great November!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Diwali
the time of the year when I miss the des the most! This year though I can't complain, it was one of the best that I have had so far. Attributing to our last month's pig out, I was eazy on snacks and sweets this time and oh, my rangoli (which was a figure of peacock) was washed away in rain within 24 hrs. The rain that lasted 5 mins, just enough so that my rangoli could be washed away nicely. I was told by an aunty that I had colored a peacock and so, it was only obvious for the rain to follow :) Next time, I plan to draw the goddess Laxmi ;)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Back from the blackhole
Almost on the verge of making my prophecy (other priorities taking precedence over blogging) come true – thank God I am at least keeping up with the one post per month goal. Actually it is more of a minimum that I have set for myself. I didn’t disappear in thin air; things as usual have been busy. Although a lot has happened since I last wrote, last week was quite interesting. We left for a one week trip to visit some schools in the Northeast. As hectic and intense as it was, I feel like I have visited the extremes of the spectrum - while our first destination was a top business school, famous for producing innovators such as Anil Ambani, Warren Buffett and Ivanka Trump, our trip ended with the yearly conference for Ekal Vidyalaya, an organization dedicated to providing education to kids in remote villages of India. The former can take a person from a decent house to a mansion, while the later one has successfully pulled some folks from the comforts of their homes, to experience the brutality of living in primitive huts. Not to drift away to some serious stuff, but what a paradigm shift! It was refreshing to be a part of both, even though for a short duration, they both carry the potential to make an everlasting imprint.
So some highlights from the trip:
1) New Hampshire is off my list of ‘places-to-live’ because Hanover didn’t have a single Starbucks, on the same note, NJ is on the top since every single exit of I-95 had a Starbucks !! Wohooo!
2) While, driving through New Hampshire at night, I saw the most amazing sight of my life. No exaggeration, but the dark blue sky was scattered with a million stars. Nothing that I have known was ever so beautiful ,not the cascading Alps, not the pristine scenes of Switzerland, not the surreal mountains in Ladakh. This scene was priceless. No, that still doesn’t rule out #1. I stopped by on the side of the road to take a quick peek, and that quick peek resulted in an invitation to a cop who was on the single lane road with us. He gave a just-checking-if-everything-is-ok visit and left. This was not the only encounter with the police.
3) While driving back from New Hampshire, I got pulled over. It is just amazing how you have the premonition that it is going to be you today. Almost like first love, I knew this was it! I knew I was in trouble when I passed the cop's car. The cop came to me and asked me if I knew why she stopped me. I said ‘because I was speeding’ and she said yes, can I get your DL pls. She must have seen the tired look on my face, something that read, I am already so doomed, what worse can anyone do to me. Go on, fine a jobless....because when she came back, she came back with a warning and not a ticket…YIPEE! That was enough to put me in the right spirit again!
4) Had a ‘Bengali Burrito’ from a street hawker on Yale’s campus. Thank you Bengalis for this fusion, it was super delicious! khoob bhaalo khoob bhaalo! Keep it up.
5) Few unexpected hours with some friends during the trip was icing on the cake.
Let me get back to life now so I can come back and rattle on about it later :)
Ciao!
So some highlights from the trip:
1) New Hampshire is off my list of ‘places-to-live’ because Hanover didn’t have a single Starbucks, on the same note, NJ is on the top since every single exit of I-95 had a Starbucks !! Wohooo!
2) While, driving through New Hampshire at night, I saw the most amazing sight of my life. No exaggeration, but the dark blue sky was scattered with a million stars. Nothing that I have known was ever so beautiful ,not the cascading Alps, not the pristine scenes of Switzerland, not the surreal mountains in Ladakh. This scene was priceless. No, that still doesn’t rule out #1. I stopped by on the side of the road to take a quick peek, and that quick peek resulted in an invitation to a cop who was on the single lane road with us. He gave a just-checking-if-everything-is-ok visit and left. This was not the only encounter with the police.
3) While driving back from New Hampshire, I got pulled over. It is just amazing how you have the premonition that it is going to be you today. Almost like first love, I knew this was it! I knew I was in trouble when I passed the cop's car. The cop came to me and asked me if I knew why she stopped me. I said ‘because I was speeding’ and she said yes, can I get your DL pls. She must have seen the tired look on my face, something that read, I am already so doomed, what worse can anyone do to me. Go on, fine a jobless....because when she came back, she came back with a warning and not a ticket…YIPEE! That was enough to put me in the right spirit again!
4) Had a ‘Bengali Burrito’ from a street hawker on Yale’s campus. Thank you Bengalis for this fusion, it was super delicious! khoob bhaalo khoob bhaalo! Keep it up.
5) Few unexpected hours with some friends during the trip was icing on the cake.
Let me get back to life now so I can come back and rattle on about it later :)
Ciao!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Cost of Negligience - Price I payed for the value that I gained
I recently attended a college friend's wedding and out of all the good things that I did in the nostalgic setting, least did I know that this is what I would be writing about. Anyways, after the beautiful wedding got over, me and one of my friends left the venue around 11:45 pm and by 1:15 am we reached home. I was tired from the sleepless night and the swamped day we had & my friend had excruciating pain in his legs, so we decided not to unload the car completely. We both took our main bags and went inside the house. Normally, I press my lock button until I have the audible confirmation. That night ( kick me, kick me, kick me!!), I didn't act as per my habit:(:( , I just wanted to go home and take off the 3 pound, stone studded dress that I had donned that evening. So without giving a second thought to the stuff that was in my car, we went inside. And sure enough, that was the first time, in 5 years, the first theft happened in the community where I reside - somebody got free access to my car which was still laden with things from our trip.
Kick me a few more times please, because I SAW THEM THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW!!!!!! My car was parked on the rear side of my house and they parked their car right under my bedroom, which aligns with the front facade of the house. When I saw two late teens getting out of a car parked in front of my house I grew suspicious and got up to see what was going on. They went from one house to another, only going to houses that had big driveways. Soon I lost the sight of them, and dismissed their presence thinking that may be they were here to visit a friend of theirs.. Bad idea!! I should have blown the whistle.
Next morning, my friend complained of his missing laptop bag, but it didn't dawn upon any of us that a theft could have occurred. It was only when I found an obsolete cell phone, which used to normally dwell in my car, lying in my front yard that I started thinking in a different direction. Soon, we we found that all the electronic items were missing from the car - work laptop, GPS, IPOD, Bose QC3 headphones,and Digital camera.
Lessons learned:
1) Stay vigilant, and report any out of the place activity that comes under your radar. No matter how big or small. There is a reason we pay taxes, avail the service. Don't underestimate the gravity of any such situation. Let the cops come and assess the situation in a dignified manner.
2) Lock your car, irrespective of how safe you think the place is - it took several hours for my neighbors to believe what happened. Everybody has always assumed a relaxed approach because of the reputation the neighborhood and the area has earned.
3) Do not leave valuable possessions in your vehicle. All the things that were stolen, were lying in inconspicuous areas of my car. While my unlocked car was a different case, do not take a chance.
I wish I had spent that extra minute to check my car. I wish I had emptied my car. I wish I would have followed the two guys and called somebody to check on them. There is no point in crying over spilled milk, but this experience was a wake up call for all of us.
I will leave the wedding story for some other day. I am still not over the post wedding woes :( If they had stolen my car, I could have at least leveraged the Lo-Jack's recovery service. Yeah, may be the next time, I will leave my keys inside.
- Dukhi Aatma
Kick me a few more times please, because I SAW THEM THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW!!!!!! My car was parked on the rear side of my house and they parked their car right under my bedroom, which aligns with the front facade of the house. When I saw two late teens getting out of a car parked in front of my house I grew suspicious and got up to see what was going on. They went from one house to another, only going to houses that had big driveways. Soon I lost the sight of them, and dismissed their presence thinking that may be they were here to visit a friend of theirs.. Bad idea!! I should have blown the whistle.
Next morning, my friend complained of his missing laptop bag, but it didn't dawn upon any of us that a theft could have occurred. It was only when I found an obsolete cell phone, which used to normally dwell in my car, lying in my front yard that I started thinking in a different direction. Soon, we we found that all the electronic items were missing from the car - work laptop, GPS, IPOD, Bose QC3 headphones,and Digital camera.
Lessons learned:
1) Stay vigilant, and report any out of the place activity that comes under your radar. No matter how big or small. There is a reason we pay taxes, avail the service. Don't underestimate the gravity of any such situation. Let the cops come and assess the situation in a dignified manner.
2) Lock your car, irrespective of how safe you think the place is - it took several hours for my neighbors to believe what happened. Everybody has always assumed a relaxed approach because of the reputation the neighborhood and the area has earned.
3) Do not leave valuable possessions in your vehicle. All the things that were stolen, were lying in inconspicuous areas of my car. While my unlocked car was a different case, do not take a chance.
I wish I had spent that extra minute to check my car. I wish I had emptied my car. I wish I would have followed the two guys and called somebody to check on them. There is no point in crying over spilled milk, but this experience was a wake up call for all of us.
I will leave the wedding story for some other day. I am still not over the post wedding woes :( If they had stolen my car, I could have at least leveraged the Lo-Jack's recovery service. Yeah, may be the next time, I will leave my keys inside.
- Dukhi Aatma
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